Let’s assume we all agree that self-care is important. How can the ways parents and guardians practice self-care impact students’ academic success?
Did you know that students want their parents and teachers to observe good self-care practices?
Before we continue, let’s clarify between self-care and self-indulgence. Self-care habits focus on helping you stay healthy (mentally, emotionally, and physically). Self-indulgence habits tend to run down your mental, emotional, and physical health. Such as not sleeping or eating well, spending long hours on the computer or watching TV without some form of exercise. These and similar practices can produce negative health issues in the short and long term.
Will it happen to me?
I don’t know about you, but I believe in change and I believe life can change for the worse in a split second. However, I find it difficult thinking or believing that it will happen to me or around me. Why? Maybe humans, including myself are naturally wired to think and believe the best to happen to them.
While I grapple with the thought, “will it happen to me or not?” I try to learn from others, because like Gina Greenlee puts it, “Experience is a master teacher, even when it’s not our own.”
A relatable story
While growing up, we lived in the best of houses and traveled the world for holidays. Father worked while on holidays and he never had the time to look at my schoolwork. He would always say, “Presley I’m tired. It was a long day at work.” And he’ll pat me on the head.
Don’t get me wrong, I did and still appreciate everything father provided for us. I got good grades at school and was on the honors list up until I graduated from high school.
I struggled to complete university because there was no money. Father needed special medical care and there went all the money and his savings.
Father’s health went from bad to worse. I do remember mother reminding him to do as the doctors had often told him, “take care of yourself, take time out to rest and relax.” And he usually said, “I will. I just need to get this done. It is very important, you know.”
Now my father can’t remember anything. But once when he was able to move his right hand and speak, he asked the nurse for a pen and paper; and he wrote, “Presley, bring your schoolwork.” Unfortunately, I didn’t need him to look at my schoolwork anymore. I was all grown up. Since then, father never wrote or spoke again.
The doctors told us, “your father could have lived a better life had he taken care of himself. He had the money and time.”
My father never had the time to look at my schoolwork and he will never have the time again.
Interesting story, but sad. I hope it will get us thinking about how we are using our time. Everyone on planet earth has twenty-four hours and the clock continues to tick. According to Carl Bard,
“Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.”
Five years later
Presley got a good job, and he was on the road to working himself to exhaustion. One day, his colleague asked him, “Hey dude! When was the last time you went on holiday? I can’t remember not seeing you in the office.”
With eyes wide open, Presley stared at his friend and said nothing. While in the trance-like mode, he saw his childhood replayed back to him; and he thought he heard his father say, “take some time out to care for yourself. Work will always be there, but you might not. I didn’t teach you how to take care of yourself while you were young and while I had the time. But you have the time now. So, take some time out, learn to relax, and take care of yourself.”
Ten years later
Presley takes time out to look at his daughter’s school work, attends the parent-teacher-conferences, and every Friday spends time with his daughter. Spending time with his daughter is among his best self-care routines .
How is self-care important to learning?
Parents often focus so much on their children that they don’t have the time for themselves. It might be hard carving out time to practice a social and professional healthy lifestyle. But when you take time to care for yourself, you can be sure to be refueled and better prepared to care for your children.
It will surprise you that children want parents to take care of themselves. They want their parents to be healthy and alive so they can celebrate their successes with them. Think about it, how will your child feel when he or she graduates and you are not there to celebrate?
Don’t get it wrong, difficulties and troubles do creep in uninvited in life, and they include sickness, job loss, sudden death, natural disaster and so on. But as much as is in our power let’s take care of ourselves.
The reality
Previously, I didn’t understand that when my son called, he was checking in to see if I was resting or running around like a crazy chicken. Usually, when we talk, he would say “hey mom tell me what you’ve been up to?” Happily, I’ll take the cue and talk on and on and on. Sometimes, he would ask, “is this or that really necessary?” Listening to your children can help you gauge when it’s time to take care of yourself. A cry here, a tantrum there or a nice note.
I’m grateful that someone is helping me to pause, think, and practice self-care. I guess after witnessing his mother not able to move or get out of bed one early morning caused him to act so that wouldn’t happen again. You might need someone to help you put in place some checks and balances or maybe you can practice self-care by yourself; find the method that works for you. But whatever you do, keep going.
Neglecting self-care and the Impact
- It hinders us from taking care of our responsibility. Remember Presley struggling to complete university because the money required was used to care for his father’s health.
- Becoming overstressed and burnout can affect our colleagues, the quality of input and output at work.
- Takes away the ability to enjoy life, fulfill goals, spend time with family and friends.
Self-care Tips for Parents
- Have enough sleep
- Eat well
- Socialize, make healthy relationships
- Don’t neglect health symptoms or checkups, see your doctor
- Spend time with the ones you love
Self-care Tips for Children
- Napping or resting after school. There’s so much that a 5-10 minute can do to the brain, mind, and body. Resting for 5 minutes before tackling that school assignment can clear the brain to think.
- Screen time: Before going to bed everyone can put their phones, tablets, and computers on the dining table and go to bed. If your children say that they need their tech machines for alarm, get them an old tabletop clock with an alarm system.
- Eating well reducing unhealthy snacks
- Drinking lots of water
- Don’t procrastinate, complete school tasks when assigned, in bits and on time
How to Teach Self-care to Children
- Don’t tell but model good self-care practices
- Start early because it is vital for successful learning
- Set goals and work alongside your child
Final thought, practicing self-care and teaching your child to do the same at an early age can be the best learning foundation and best gift to give yourself, your child, family, colleagues, friends, and many more. To help do that is my self-care planner workbook The Builders Balance: A Defining Approach To Giving Your Best. It will help you evaluate, map and plan your very own successful self-care plan. Coming soon!
Until next time -take care.
Bye now!